Saturday, 26 June 2010
losing grip♥
i'm waiting for that umbrella.
are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
right now i feel invisible to you, like i'm not real.
didnt you feel me lock my arms around you?
why'd you turn away?
here's what i have to say..
-Losing Grip, Avril Lavigne
Pride & Prejudice
nah, i dont mean the novel.
i just feel like they are the root cause of the shortcomings ppl have, on top of jealousy.
frankly, i'm still not over it.
because of your prejudice & jealousy, coupled with my pride,
i really just threw myself into despair, at that point.
i cant forget.
i want to rmbr it, so that i wont inflict this pain from my episode onto others.
i find you guys pathetic. everytime i go back, i'll just roll my eyes.
why are you sucking up to me? get a life.
right from the start, you shld know that this is how the story ends.
it's all too late.
they say it takes 5 positive comments to make up for 1 negative comment.
therefore can you imagine how many positive comments i need?
just because someone slandered me.
how do i even get over it when every single day of my life is filled with negative stuff?
society has become very cold.
we all forget to give credit where credit is due, we dont bother to say words that lift ppl up.
it's no surprise that i've become like that.
so many ppl have shut the door on me.
the wound may not be open any more, but the scar is there for life.
i dont feel the warmth of this world.
today i felt so alone.
i wanted someone to talk to, or at least listen to me.
but there wasn't a soul.
ppl arent there when i need them the most.
so i scrolled thru my contact list and realised there was only one number i could call:
home.
i really need counselling.
i'm so stressed. i'm so weak emotionally.
because of my pride, i will still laugh and smile at you.
but after all, it's just a facade.
i'm losing grip(hold) of my life.
spiralling out of control.
i dont have the strength.
i derive joy from the simplest things in life, but that's the things that most ppl fail to notice.
term 3, you're gonna be tough physically,academically,mentally,emotionally and socially.
sth which i forgot!
any idea why i love sleeping and sleep so much?
becuase i'm exhausted and tired of reality, so i really really want to dream(:
just now, i smiled in my dream and i woke up feeling better.
both your presence really does wonders.
that's why i mean it when i tell ppl "you're a miracle" and blessing to me.
you couldnt possible send yourself to appear in my dreams,neither do you know if i dreamt of you. but what matters is the difference my dream of you makes.
and i say those, not to bootlick you or get into your good books.
i sincerely hope that these few postive words of mine can help to erase at least one emotional baggage you have in your heart.
know that you're loved. even if it's just one person(:
YYY
for a better tomorrow;
-23:58
