the spirit to serve has been ignited in me once again... 

looking at the sign-up forms and recent conversations/happenings, i realised how lonely this journey can be.. when i have to volunteer or join whatever stuff alone, simply because i cant seem to find others in my circle who share the same heart and enthusiasm.

or perhaps they really dont have the time...

to be honest im conflicted between giving away my time for free vs for monetary rewards. because of opportunity costs.

when i look at my fellow year 2s doing internships this summer break,  sometimes i wonder if spending time volunteering, organising a school event and being active in nav is making me lose sight of the long term... am i being unproductive /unwise in how i spend my break?

it's terrifying when wr asked me 'what things will feed you and give you a job next time?'

so is denying myself = giving up an upper middle income lifestyle ? O.o (honest question haha)

my choice would be simple if i didnt have to feel accountable to people..

sometimes i just need to learn to cut some strings. or to let go of some burdens..maybe life would be more liveable then (: and serving would be worry-free.

^thats how i view a prosperous and well-lived life. 

i hope that God will grant me such grace.

sidenote: found this really meaningful because even though im separated from everyone, thankyou for being there for me. (even though we are so so different and i only have my love and loyalty to offer you. thankyou for not despising it, friend. )