Monday, 1 August 2016
throwback vtp summer 2015 testimony♥
Since summer vtp 2016 recently concluded, i'll share my testimony from last year's edition (because it's much more edifying than my most recent one hahaha)
Vanessa's Testimony - VTP May-Aug 2015
"I joined the VTP without any real expectations for myself. Frankly, it was more of meeting what I perceived was my leader's expectation rather than truly looking forward to any life change. But God has been really faithful, working in me through various methods and people to transform my heart and mind towards Him and others. Even though I did not get to spend the 3 month "break" as I had ambitiously planned out, I cherish every moment in this ministry during this period ,because I find it to be fruitful, satisfying and personally rewarding.
As a young Christian, God's timing couldn't have been more perfect. For those who are unfamiliar, I received Christ just in April this year. In retrospect, it was a blessing in disguise that i joined VTP, that something in my heart nudged me to just listen and go for it- despite it being with the wrong motivation initially. I imagine how things could have been worse if I was left alone as a new convert, with the evil one gaining a greater foothold over me. I would have definitely turned out differently.
Similar as everyone else, I learned many things throughout these few months, forming a deeper understanding of the Navigators' work (through The Navigator Book study) and also in Scriptures (through the Galatians Bible Study). Yet at the halfway mark, I felt like giving up when I questioned my own progress and the reason why I'm here in VTP. I asked myself how personally committed I was towards wanting to know God, how great was this desire. Was i simply just going through the motions by coming to school? Where was my heart, really? This moment hit me like a bullet train, such that I was so discouraged and did not want to attend VTP on that day. But I am thankful that I struggled, thankful that God did not give up on me, but provided me with encouragement from my leader.
My leader is highly instrumental in helping me get right on track in leading a Christ-centred, Spirit-filled life. She is a pacesetter, a real model and inspiration, yet it was still hard for me to overcome my laziness to do quiet time daily.About a month ago, she started to make the bold sacrifice of meeting me even on non-VTP days so that we can share our QT thoughts and spend time together. At first, I must confess again, I complied because I appreciated the effort my leader was putting in for me. But as i started to meet God daily, I experienced for myself the Holy Spirit and His help, and my attitude and life began to change. I remember the first Galatians BS lesson when one of the sisters raised the fact that 'the Spirit' was mentioned quite significantly in Paul's letter. In my heart, it was just all question marks. For some reason i did not even see that the Spirit was an important point! It is too hard to go into details but now I understand the Holy Spirit as my teacher, putting what is on God's heart onto mine, and also giving me its Fruit. In fact, I now claim 2Tim 1:7 as my 2015 year verse in helping me to grow spiritually in my walk with Christ.
Some other things cannot be taught or simply studied; they have to be observed and learned. As such, I am truly thankful for the fellowship I can have with my fellow sisters. I was very impressed by their testimonies and also heart for Christ. I remember how I was inspired by a sister whom i went witnessing with, who willingly and uncompromisingly shared her life and struggles to a stranger. It opened my eyes to understand what witnessing really is about- not just sharing about The Bridge to Life but it really is bearing witness to how Christ can change our individual lives from one of being lost in the darkness to having renewed hope and life. Through the different pairings, I observed the different prayer and witnessing styles,helping me to grow in my prayer life and also how to talk to people. I confess that there was confusion and uncertainty at certain pairings. because we were without our leaders. But i learned that we have plenty to learn from each other regardless of our maturity in the faith only if we are humble enough to do so. After all, we are striving towards the same goal, and we can learn and encourage each other. Having to learn to trust in the Holy spirit to guide and really lead us. I am sure that we have witnessed His power and answered prayer. God is so amazing, He can transform and have the faith and hope and confidence to believe that God can transform any "weak" pairing into a strong one.
What also stood out for me was having heart for others, just like dawson trotman. He saw the church as united in one body in Christ, not split by the different organisations or denominations etc. Dawson willingly gave his time, energy and resources to other ministries and he was generous with them. Nav has been welcoming several fresh faces for the past few weeks and I am personally glad to have each and every one of them. It was my intention and also my joy to see people come to Christ. However, one day God put my heart to the test and really revealed to me how I was not having the right heart that i believed i’’ve always had. He made me question why i felt a particular sense of envy or neglect when suddenly I found myself no longer being readily paired with my leader (perhaps i was used to the attention of being a young baby Christian). While i may have heart for the people i personally witness to by keeping them in my thoughts and prayers, i wondered why i am not showing the same full love towards everyone equally. But as i reflected, I noticed how selfish I was in my thinking when I remembered how God loved me so unconditionally and He never shows favouritism.
In conclusion, everyone has to eventually grow and I am thankful that I am. God has protected this desire in me and He has blessed me with wonderful leaders and sisters who really bring me warmth and show me the way. I am encouraged that it is not about how fast I get there, but it is about the process. (firmly grasp and take hold of the prize heavenward) I recall how it was so hard for me to confess that Christ is Lord and that I love Him, but now i understand how great of a King He is. He is the One that I am convinced I want to follow for the rest of my life :D
Amen! "
YYY
for a better tomorrow;
-00:34
